Well then its done. I got the reason to why he was ignoring me. He hadn't got the time to get over his ex. And I knew that, from the beginning. I knew he hadn't forgotten about her. I guess I was just to stubborn and didnt want to see it. But it's over now, the hard part is I really love him. But I've been in his place and knew that I would lose anyway. But I am taking it like a women, not like a little bitch. I'm not going to hate him, just ignore him and pretend like it never happened until I found someone new. And that is not going to happen for a while. I need to figure me out and fix myself.

Bye my prince, I will always love you for making me forget and know happiness again.
I hope you'll be happy, with or without her.

Today I've ended up in the same place as I was 3 years ago. In my kitchen on the floor by the stove. And just like last time I'm crying to the max and struggling for air.

But 3 years ago it was because of a boy and how he was in rehab. Now it's still about a boy but even family and my home. I might lose my mom to a job she can't stand or our home. An it is crushing my soul. I feel helpless because I can't get a job, I just feel like I give my mom nothing but problems. Taking space, money and her time. If she hadn't had me she would have a good job and meaby even a real family. I would give anything to see all her troubles go away and that beautiful smile on her face. Like nothing can stop her.

But I'm not sure that will happen some day soon. I just hope I will get to be on her side, whatever happens!